Why is it so hard to see the flaws in our own character?
Why is it so easy to see all the “mistakes” in other people’s behavior?
Why?
Why are we so blind to what we can improve in ourselves?
If we really want to
“be the change we want to see in the world”,
then why are we
always criticizing other people,
always telling other people where they can improve,
condoning people who are not living life as we think life should be lived?
Me too,
I am constantly struggling
not to judge,
not to think I know better,
not to give ‘good advice’,
not to think that my way is the better way,
even with the best intentions,
we are still judging:
it’s as if we are programmed to judge others…
and what good comes out of that behavior?
Have you ever stopped ranting on what needs to be changed, and actually made those changes start happening yourself?
I think – in my humble opinion 🙂 – that just
living your life as you see most fit,
living according to your values,
being happy to be able to do the best that you can,
enjoying the freedom to be just you,
is a good way to live your life and let others live their life.
In living a life,
in behaving in a way that you would like others to behave,
you might/can be an example to others.
Only in seeing what is possible, in seeing how you live your kind, harmonious life,
others might join you.
Or not.
We can’t control what others do, nor what others think.
All we can control is our own thoughts and our own actions.
Be the kind of person you want to see more of in the world,
Behave towards others, as you would like others to behave towards you.
It may seem very simple to do and the most logical thing to do but
OMG
do we have difficulties acting that way!
Why?
Again, we seem to be oblivious to the hick ups in our own behavior.
We have blinders on when our own behavior is concerned
and we put a spotlight on other people’s behavior, especially on their flaws.
My invitation to you all this week is:
Be very conscious of how you (re-)act.
When you feel you’re going to say something or do something:
Stop for a moment,
Consider your -about to become- (re-)action:
Is it helpful?
Is it compassionate?
Is it how you would like others to react to you?
Yes? Go ahead.
No? Think again.
How can I be helpful, kind, and supportive?
Only when you have figured that out, then you can react appropriately.
When you can’t think of a helpful, kind reaction,
then do not react at all.
Let it go.
Let it pass.
The tension will dissolve,
Harmony will be restored,
No damage will have been caused.
Thank you all
for willing to look at yourself,
for having the courage to be the one who under-reacts,
for being a kind person.
Namaste
Katrien
www.lifecoachwomen.be