Focus on what we all have in common, focus on what connects us, and love is what you will start to feel, as it becomes hard to hate, to look down, to feel disconnected when you recognize yourself in others.
We so easily talk about us and them, we so easily ‘box’ everyone, …
Why? It doesn’t even make us feel good or happy. On the contrary, it makes us feel separated, disconnected, alone, we feel as if we don’t belong, we feel unhappy.Then why do we keep doing that? I know it’s a natural instinct to be cautious of something we don’t know. But don’t we pride ourselves on being ‘thinking human beings’, on being able to use our mind when we make decisions? We hardly live on instinctive reactions anymore, do we, so why don’t we start using this thinking capacity to our, and therefor anyone’s, advantage?
Why don’t we stop once and for all:
pushing everyone aside,
mistrusting others,
being afraid of others because: they look a little different, they speak a different language,
becoming richer at the expense of someone else,
seeing others as competition, …
and start looking at people and think:
we are all like fingers on one hand,
we all have our specific skin color but we are all the same inside,
we all have our own religion and this does not separate us,
we are all here to live and enjoy Mother Earth,
we are all responsible for all life on earth, as we are all part of it,
we are all born from this Source called Love,
we all have the same needs and longings…
Make the list as long as you like.
You’ll notice that once you start looking for what you have in common, you’ll start feeling connected, your heart will open up, you’ll start actually looking and really seeing each other, you’ll start caring more, and you will not feel alone anymore.
Once we start living as ‘being in this life together’, a feeling of calm, of peace, of trust comes over us. Because we don’t have to fight anymore, we can start working together, living together, enjoying our lives, we can stop being afraid.
It may feel odd to you, it may feel like you would be considered naïve if you would start: being nice without any reason, giving without expecting a reward, wishing a stranger (or even a person you dislike) well.
But try it.
See what happens, see how it makes you feel. Think of the alternative…. I think it’s worth the try as we so often feel mistrust, anxiety, fear, disconnection. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to go through life trusting, loving, being kind, actually liking other people, enjoying life?
Let’s give it a try, shall we?
I like the way the Buddhists say ‘I wish you well’ when they meet someone. We, Western people, tend to be suspicious and think ‘what do you want from me?’.
I would like you, this coming week, to consciously think ‘I wish you well’ whenever you meet someone. It will feel strange in the beginning but the more you practice it, the easier it will become. Notice how more peaceful you are through out the day, notice how you automatically smile when you think ‘I wish you well’, and I am sure your blood pressure won’t peak as often as it used to during the day :-).
After you’ve been practicing this for a couple of days, try it out in more challenging situations like: when a colleague steals your thunder, when a car cuts you off in traffic, when someone steals your parking space, when the person in front of you at the grocery store takes forever to pack their stuff into bags, when somebody snaps at you…
I hear a lot of you thinking: “What? Do you want me to become a wimp?” No, I am not saying that at all. All I am saying is, notice how you feel most of the day, and then think about how you would like to feel instead? I’ve written a lot about how your mind works, about how ‘what you think’ influences ‘how you feel’*. If you choose to look at people, as fellow humans with their own battles, with their own fears, with their own weaknesses, and also as people with a good heart, as people who deserve to live on this planet as much as you do, …then you’ll let them have their moment of glory, that parking space, all the time they need in the store, because you’ll recognize their pain, their battles, their stress… you’ll see them as being the same as you.
Recognizing people as being the same, as being who we are too, as feeling how we feel too, makes it easier to wish them well, to share, to care, to protect, to help. The more peaceful you think, the more peaceful you’ll feel, the more peaceful you’ll act. By choosing to feel fine, peaceful, happy, yourself, you not only choose kindness for yourself, but also for others, as a happy person treats other people kindly.
Everybody benefits!
We choose how we feel by choosing what we think. Therefor I would like to invite you all: think of all the people around the world:
as the petals of the same flower,
as drops of water in the ocean,
as the shackles of the same chain (we need them all to have a chain), …
Make your own visualization of something where every part is necessary to have something whole, something complete. Repeat the image over and over again in your head until it becomes your natural way of thinking about others.
Using the traditional Indian greeting Namaste to greet each other, also helps us to feel more connected as it says so much more than ‘hello’. It means ‘the Divine Light in me recognizes and honors the Divine Light in you’. Saying this helps you to remind yourself of the fact that we are all born from the same, call it the Divine, call it Love, call it Source. I don’t care how you call it, as long as it helps you to see everyone as equal. We are all unique beings and yet we are all One.
The more we practice thinking this, feeling this, acting accordingly, the closer we are to peace on earth, peace for all, and therefor also peace for yourself. That’s the beauty of it, you give yourself, as well as the whole world, this priceless present. For once, giving yourself a beautiful gift, which is most of the time perceived as a selfish act, is now the most beautiful, the most giving act on earth! 🙂
Give yourself love and peace,
and you’ll be giving love and peace to the whole world!
Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium too! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member by clicking on this link https://lifecoachwomen.com/membership and you’ll be supporting me directly (and all the other authors indirectly). Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*”The Trouble Is, It’s All Up To You, The Good Thing is, It’s All Up To You”, and many more by Katrien Degraeve on Medium.