One can take a horse to the water but one can’t make it drink….
YOU have to WANT to drink the water, and start DOING.
If you want to change what you don’t like in your life, in the world, …
it’s up to you to make some changes.
And to make changes, you actually have to DO things differently.
You can take all the classes you want, read all the books you feel you need to,
listen to all the people you admire and learn from, ….
but in the end, it’s up to you and only you to DO something with this information.
People easily say: yes, I know all this, yes, I live a conscious life, yes, I will do this and I will start doing that, … but those are just words….
People are still living the same life, doing the same things as they’ve always done and then they wonder:
Why do I always feel the same way?
Why don’t I feel better after reading this or following this class?
Why doesn’t my life change?
When will I feel happier?
The answer is: when you start doing different things, when you start living your life differently! When you start… drinking the water!
It is your responsibility, only you can make the changes.
You have the power. Own it!
As long as you say:
“Yes, I know but this or that first needs to change or go away…”,
“Yes, I know but he or she first needs to do, to be, ….”
you’ll never manage your own feelings!
You can’t put the key to your own happiness in somebody else’s pocket!
Take the key, find the key maker and unlock your happiness!!
First make sure you know what is bugging you, what it is you want to change.
Take some time to figure this out, because sometimes, we think this or that is the thing that is bothering us, but I may be something entirely different.
Once you have defined the thing you are going to change,
imagine your life with the ‘problem’ gone and ask yourself:
What is needed to get there?
What is different in this ideal situation?
Write down what makes this new situation better.
Once you have this list: you will see what you still need to learn to live your life differently and what you can start doing right away.
Don’t wait until you are perfectly ready, start doing what you already can, right now.
You’ll see, once you already make changes in the right direction, you’ll start to feel differently and you’ll be on your way to that ideal situation you imagined.
Let’s say: you want to eat a healthier diet.
You can already start by not eating that many snacks anymore, by not drinking too much alcohol, sugary drinks, … by just eating less, eating slower, chewing your food better, by drinking more water…. That is something you need no extra info about. You can do it from this moment on. The next thing is, you can start taking classes to cook in a natural, healthy way. You can search for interesting books, articles, recipes, … You see: it’s you who needs to take action. You can’t blame anybody else, it’s you who wants a change in your diet so it is you who needs to make changes in what you eat and drink because ultimately it is you who puts the food in your mouth. It takes courage and perseverance but the result, a healthy body, will be the ultimate gift to yourself!
Let’s say you want to be in a better physical condition.
Same thing: you can already start by walking more, taking the stairs, going by bike instead of the car (yes, even when it is raining 🙂 you choose whether you want to be in better shape or not), by sleeping more, by paying attention to how you hold your body. Same here: you can already feel the difference before you even got to start looking for a sport that you like, for a club where you can practice this sport etc.
This goes for your emotional condition too!
Let’s say you really need people to be more understanding, nicer, kinder … because the world feels so harsh to you. As you cannot change other people, you need to change how you see them, how you respond to their actions. You can immediately start by being conscious of the fact that it is (again) up to you! Every time somebody ‘annoys’ you, gets under your skin, is rude …tell yourself, I decide what I do with this. I can look kindly to that person and think,’ it’s the best they can do right now’, and accept it for what it is: their behavior, not yours. Whether you agree or not, does not matter. You choose how you react: in kindness or irritated/ angry. You’ll see it makes a world of difference! You’ll feel it is so much easier to interact in a kinder way when you decide to look at people in kindness. You’ll already feel the world is less harsh. Then you can take it even further and start learning how to meditate, how to breathe through anxiety, through irritation, through anger and pain… how to train your mental muscles* to see the ‘reality’ through different eyes…etc.
You see, you have the key to change. You need not only to go to the river and see that there are solutions to your problem, you actually have to drink the water, you have to take action in order to get results.
Knowing, learning is not enough, now is the time to start doing!!
Make that list this week!
Write next to it what it is you can immediately start with, from this very moment on.
Write in a second column what you want to learn to get even closer to your ‘ideal’ situation.
Write in a 3rd column what courses you need to take and make a first appointment to see if it really is what you need. If not, no worries, you’ll find it.
You go over this list every week and adapt where necessary.
This is your key to ‘success’, your key to ‘feeling better’
Because as the Talmut says: “We do not see things as they are, we see things as WE are.”
Own it! Enjoy it!
“The world changes when we change.
The world softens when we soften.
The world loves us when we choose to love the world.” Marianne Williamson.
Good luck!!!!
Thank you all for reading and supporting me!
Katrien
author of Less is Yes!
*part 3: mental decluttering in ‘Less is Yes! Katrien Degraeve